Put on some sexy attire and commence to shake what your momma gave you.

I'm sure some of my readers recognize that blog title as a song from the radio. Ladies, have you ever wondered what makes a man visit a strip club?

Well, I'll break it down for you the best that I can. I won't discuss the guys who fantasize about sleeping with the strippers because these are simply pervs. They will pay the stripper's bills, but will stalk her afterwards. I'm talking about the normal guys who don't have a stripper's photo surrounded by burning incense in the basement. I'm talking about normal guys like me.

Now, first of all, I haven't been in a strip club in over a decade, but I did hang out there now and then back when I first moved out of my parents' house. At first, it was just to hang out with the guys and try something new. Of all of the movies I'd seen about them, I really didn't expect much from going, but I was pretty surprised.

There was good music, expensive great drinks and beautiful women. And these women recognize a fresh wallet when you walk through the door. They will immediately flock to you to be the first to get you to part with your paycheck. However, that attention is a boost to a man's ego. And we all know that a man's ego controls his brain. That's what keeps men at the nudie bar. The attention. Now, some ladies are saying, "well, I pay my man attention at home."

That may be true to an extent, but let's be honest: some men are going to go look at other women just because they can. But, for the average guys like me and my friends, we enjoyed hanging out at these clubs because of the heightened attention we received. You're treated like a celebrity when you go into a strip club. Women are all over you as soon as you come through the door and people are bringing you drinks. Your every need is being catered to by good-looking women.

When a man's ego is being stroked, he doesn't care why it's happening, only that it's happening.

Contrary to what women may think they're doing for their significant other, it may not compare to what Cinnamon and Trixie are doing down at "Tall Tails." So, ladies, if you have a man, then do him a solid now and then. Tell him before he comes home to stop by the ATM. Turn on some music and fix him a drink. Put on some sexy attire and commence to shake what your momma gave you.

How low can you go?

Now I was single at the time, so there was nothing at home for me, but what kept me going every Friday night was the booty shaking. The club I frequented was like walking into a Ludacris video. The booties didn't just clap, they gave a round of applause. And a male never gets tired of seeing booty shaking (as shown in the video below). However, at some point, you have to grow up and do other things with your money. I visited the strip club for roughly every Friday night for two months before I decided enough was enough. It was fun while it lasted, but knowing that these women were going to get you all "charged up" only to go home alone got old. I started seeing too many pathetic old men and some of those aforementioned stalkers and realized I didn't want to be in a place with those types. There was one guy that we met there who was in his early 50's, married 30 years and claimed that he spends roughly $500-$700 a week in the club. The girls knew him by name and he probably put so many of them through school that they have a scholarship named after him. After all, strippers are just trying to put themselves through college, right? :)

Royal Pain 2: Let's Get Drunk! (An American Tradition)

Guess what? I ended up watching most of the Royal Wedding after blogging that I would not. I didn't see the actual ceremony, but I did see the grand entrance and I have to say, I was impressed.

It was everything I thought a royal event should be and more. It made me think back on Obama's Inauguration (which is the closest thing I can compare in America to a royal event) and the two are completely polar opposites. Here are the differences I noticed:

Royal Wedding - appeared to have a vast majority of the country showing unity for an event that represents a lot to their culture.

Inauguration - was mainly celebrated by only those in favor of the political party of the President.

Royal Wedding - was attended by dignitaries and royal figures from around the world.

Inauguration - was attended by other politicians and Hollywood types. They had multiple camera shots of celebrities from Jamie Foxx to Puff Daddy (who both were too ignorant cool to even take off their sunglasses). Can I coin the word "ignorantaries?"

It made me think. We don't take anything seriously here. Even a once distinguished event as the Inaugural Ball has turned into a Red Carpet affair. What is a true American tradition? I know we're the "Melting Pot," but can't we all agree on at least one thing to do together?

Wait! I know what our tradition is! It's something we do each and every time we see certain dates pop up on the calendar and we all participate in this American tradition:

We get drunk on American holidays.

Heck, we even get drunk on Irish and Mexican holidays, too! Cinco de Mayo is here. Although the Battle of Puebla isn't considered much of a holiday in Mexico, it is something celebrated by Americans despite the fact that most don't even know its meaning. Who cares? We're getting margaritas, right?

Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's underdog win over the French forces on May 5th, 1862. It wasn't their Independence Day, it was a victory in a battle that many people think that they should have lost. Mexico celebrates their Independence Day on September 16th. That's the day that started the war when Mexican-born Spaniards and Native Americans kicked the heinies of Spain.

But, that doesn't matter to us. We're Americans, right? If Mexicans won't celebrate May 5th, then we will! And we'll say that we're honoring your heritage in the process, so it's win-win, right? As long as we can drink! ¿Dónde está mi cerveza?

New Year's Day, we drink. St. Patrick's Day, we get blitzed. Memorial Day, a holiday dedicated to the memory of U.S. Soldiers, but we barbecue and drink! Independence Day, barbecue and drink. Labor Day, watch college football and drink. Halloween, dress up and drink. Thanksgiving... Wait. That may be the only holiday where we don't get toasted. Christmas Eve, company parties, egg nog, and a whole lot of misteltoe.

I know I'm beating a dead horse at this point. You get where I'm going. I was actually jealous of the Royal Wedding. The only time we, as Americans, tend to come together as a country is when there is tragedy. It took 9/11 to scare us into unity. That fear kept us together for a long time. Osama bin Laden's death brought people back into unity, but I'll be doggone if less than six hours later people were on Facebook and Twitter arguing over who should get credit for it: Bush or Obama? The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina brought us together. Shortly afterwards, we're calling our own U.S. citizens "refugees" and pointing fingers at President Bush and blaming him for not knowing how to handle the nation's biggest natural disaster.

Sad. The concept of the Melting Pot is wonderful, but without long-standing traditions for all of us to embrace, will there ever be unity amongst us? We have recognized holidays from many nationalities and religions, but we need to actually learn what they are about. Let's do that instead of planning who will be the designated driver that weekend or who will bring the hot dogs. Maybe then, we'll have some unity.

Oh, wait! I DID think of a day where a majority of Americans come together for four hours: Super Bowl Sunday! Football and beer commercials! Guys chest-bumping each other and women holding empty mixed drink glasses screaming, "that's my jam!" to every song that comes on during halftime.

I guess I just can't get around the alcohol influence on our holidays. I just need to accept that beer is our tradition. Oh, well. That's better than nothing. I guess we do have unity after all! Suck it, England!

Body for Hire

I recently had a discussion on my FB Fan Page with a young lady about Hooters Girls. Her stance was that being a H.G. is unbecoming of a lady. My stance was being an H.G. and serving hot wings is more tasteful than wearing a short skirt to the nightclub and "backing it up" on the dance floor against some random dude's crotch. I don't see anything wrong with a person using what they have to get what they want... if it's legal. Then I ran across this story on the USA Today website...

I knew about this story on a local level, but now Taylor Corley has made national news. The USA Today has a story about the freshman cheerleader from Mississippi State University who decided to bare it all for Playboy Magazine.

Now, the controversy coming from the local media is if Taylor should be allowed to participate as a cheerleader since most men across the country have seen her assets. Some parents are up in arms and want her tossed, but Miss. State's VP said since she didn't go into the mag representing Miss. State, that the school won't seek any action against her.

Taylor, who went by the last name Stone in PB, participated in the photo shoot before enrolling at Miss. State. The mag started circulating in November and now she's a household name in Starkville.

So, should she be tossed from the cheerleading squad or not?

My answer is "no" and "yes".

"No," because she did not do anything (to my knowledge) that was illegal. She was a body for hire and there's nothing wrong with posing nude for a magazine. Now, I know some of my followers are saying, "As old school as you are, you think it's okay?"



Yep. Nudity isn't new school. Folks have been getting "bucket naked" for entertainment way before magazines were printed. From a moral standpoint, I understand anyone who opposes the idea of someone showing their blueprint to the world. From a realistic standpoint, I don't think it's up to any of us to judge what a person does in the proper venue. She wasn't on a billboard or on the side of Highway 82 wearing nothing but a smile. She was in an adult magazine where only people of that lifestyle will dare to peek.

Now, from another point of view, "yes," she should be booted from the squad. Simply because she's a distraction. Despite the increased attendance the cheerleaders will probably see (due to the recent exposure of Taylor), it will more than likely cause the other cheerleaders to resent her or feel awkward.

So, Taylor made her bed and now has to lie in it. Nude. She took the money and now has to accept what comes with it. I'm pretty sure she'll be okay with whatever ultimately happens. At least she got paid for it. I went to college with women who would strip for a Budweiser and some hot wings. So, in comparing the two, it's hard to argue with Taylor's decision since she obviously doesn't care that people know. She's getting paid.

Besides, I don't agree with actresses getting naked in movies and having it called art while models in Playboy are called whores. Playboy is not a porno mag, it's a magazine with photos of nude women. There is a difference. Besides, the same perverts who will drop $10 on a PB mag are the same pervs who will drop $10 on that garbage of a movie, "Monster's Ball," to see Halle Berry get busy with Billy Bob Thornton (Why? I haven't a clue). So, I don't want to hear someone say Halle screaming, "make me feel good" is art.



Taylor has reportedly done Maxim and now Playboy. Next could be a Reality Show. She wanted attention and now she has it. They say bad publicity is better than none at all. I tend to agree with that statement. If you asked Taylor, then I'm sure she would, too. As long as her family has accepted her decision and explained the ramifications, then so be it.

What Taylor did was legal in the court of law, but it won't prevent her from being judged in the court of public opinion.